"Men aren't objectified by the media"

Ok….. So let's talk about it.

No one is disputing whether it's to the same extent.

It has deep roots in women.

The objectification of women has been for far longer, and they have been subject to profound objectification for decades.

I can't understand this from a lived experience perspective. Still, I appreciate that women have just about had enough of it.

Women shouldn't be, but they are constantly lambasted for being too fat or too thin, sexualised, wolf-whistled, and subjected to abuse based on their appearance.

But…

Men are too objectified by the media.

This stuff isn't a competition.

Men objectify women, men objectify other men, women objectify men, women objectify other women, and to an extent, we all objectify ourselves - Look at most social media grids!

This is wholly unjust, and I disagree with it, but it is an unfortunate truth of life.

If we're for societal equality (I believe people truly mean equity when speaking about equality) and acknowledging the sociocultural shifts, we should have these conversations inclusive of all.

A diversity of voices and experiences, whether male, female or other.

We'll happily have inclusive discussions but within what's deemed socially acceptable.

That has changed a lot in the last decade.

Before anyone pops in the comment about violence towards women, femicide and gender pay gaps - That's not what we're talking about here.

These are important issues and concerns, but let's keep this on-topic.

Whataboutism is a technique of responding to an accusation or difficult question by making a counter-accusation or raising a different issue.

That's not what I'm doing here. I haven't minimised the female plight, suggesting that the male experience is worse.

It's entirely possible to discuss essential things as separate entities (there is grey in everything, of course), and the ironic thing I see in these debates is that those accusing others of whataboutism are often "what-about" themselves.

It's something men and women need to work on

What are your thoughts?

An experience I wanted to share

I attended Bodypower for over 7/8 years, and during the latter part of that, I was "sponsored."

Around 2015, I was asked to speak there for the first time, and it felt like I had "made it" professionally.

My professional voice was finally heard, and I had an opportunity to share. I'm grateful for that; it opened doors, and I learnt a few other lessons.

The very same weekend, I was doing the mandatory chatting on the stand, and sometimes people would ask for pictures (that makes me feel a bit gross sharing, in honesty). The marketing manager would ask the people requesting whether or not they would like my shirt on or off for the photo.

This wasn't shared, disclosed or requested in advance, making me hugely uncomfortable to be asked on the spot. I went along with it and didn't say anything.

Is this a big deal? I don't know. That's subjective.

I didn't find it flattering. It didn't make me feel good, and I was touched and groped inappropriately.

It undermined what seemed to be a career highlight when asked to speak.

I'm not complaining; I am not a victim. It's what I assumed was the right thing to do.

It was, but it shouldn't have been

I wonder whether female attendees received the same treatment. Still, to my knowledge, they weren't asked to remove any clothing.

I can't speak to that, but I imagine in other circumstances, they were probably treated far worse and likely received obscene requests.

So, is it more acceptable to ask that of men in public with an audience? I don't know.

I don't know of many men with the same experience who had the same thoughts and feelings I did. I'm sure they're out there.

It heightened my insecurities and preoccupation with my body and appearance. For the next few years, I fretted about my appearance in the run-up to the then-annual expo.

"Would I be in shape enough to do that on the spot again, and what would people think if I wasn't?"

"Would I lose my sponsorship?!" Of course, that doesn't matter at all, but it felt like a big deal at the time

I'd diet on the run-up to the next couple of expos there.

I can only reflect now and realise how bad my body image was, but how I was also contributing to my own pain with "physique athlete" aspirations and how I was objectifying myself as well as being objectified.

I was part of the problem as the solution, and by going along with standard practice, I may have influenced others about what they felt they should. I shouldn't do to get recognised professionally.

Hindsight is beautiful, but that's why I choose to have these unpopular and difficult conversations now.

It would be far easier and probably financially better to say nothing and go on talking about fat loss and body composition whilst trying to capitalise on my physique in some way.

That doesn't help me, and it definitely doesn't help others.

It's one of the many reasons I have such an issue with the hypocrisy of claiming to help others (or being an advocate or activist for body acceptance) with their body image, relationship with food, mindset, realistic bodies reflective of all bodies and their health stays, etc that are more informed.

They, professionally and many personally, know better because they've had bad experiences.

They know how detrimental it can be to promote only a few aspects of "health," physique goals, and fat loss, above all and at any cost.

But they're financially incentivised to continue benefitting from insecurity, desperation and false promises.